Exciting News!

It's been too long, as usual! Lots to catch up on! Dan is doing well, he's working more regular hours these days because he got switched to doing something else at work and they have more consistent hours. He was finally able to tear into my van, there's many things needing to be replaced. As he went though, he's finding more problems to fix, so that is going to take longer.

I'm doing good. Still feeling ok. I'm 26 weeks along now, next week is 3rd trimester! The time has been going pretty fast. I've been keeping busy. The chiropractor is helping a lot. Other than some sciatic pain, I have no complaints! I am dreading the very hot weather though, it may be a long summer! Baby is getting big and strong, very active! My Dr still wants to induce a week early due to me having large babies. She said she's aiming for September 3rd, which is also our wedding anniversary!

Dawson is almost done with Kindergarten! This year just flew by in some ways. Seems like he just started school not long ago. He's reading much more fluently and is reading things everywhere. His special ed teacher says she's pleased with his end of year testing, compared to his earlier testing. I'm excited to see how much he's improved! He's very excited to be done with school. For the last month he's been telling me he doesn't want to go. Even though he qualifies, I declined the summer school option. He will be getting his Autism Center therapy at home, 25-30 hours per week. He loves that and is making lots of progress. It's also more customizable, so we can work on other things around home and in any area that he needs, not just academically. They will continue to take him out to the community for some fun and social interaction practice. I've been looking for different things for him to do and may sign him up for some community ed classes and fun things he may be interested in.

Gabriel is growing up so much! He went through a big growth spurt, so he looks so much bigger now, and he's been talking a lot too. He labels many things, has several 2-3 word phrases, he's working on counting, but he skips some numbers. He has 1-5 down fairly well. He knows about half the alphabet too! He's still very obsessed with horses. He graduated from his little rocking horse to a big spring rocking horse and he loves it. He was rocking the little one so hard that he was tipping it over! Even with the big spring horse, he can get the front legs off the floor a bit! Crazy little boy.

Gabriel sleeps with his two favorite stuffed animals. The brown horse I made in 6th grade, and the zebra I got him for Christmas. These two are well loved and it shows! ;)

 Dawson loves his pacman set that Grandma made for him. He had quite the pacman obsession for quite a while! It has been a bit less obsessive lately, but he still really enjoys playing it.

 We finally got new bunk beds! We've had this set since Dawson was almost 2. Someone had moved out of our apartment building and left them next to the dumpster. So we got some hardware and they've been good sturdy beds for a while, but I've been wanting something else for a while and was just waiting for the right time.

That time presented itself when a friend posted these up on a local facebook sell group for a really good price. I've always wanted bunks with stairs, but wasn't about to pay over a thousand for a new set! I love the darker wood too, it looks so pretty and clean in there now! Gabriel likes going up there. A few times he has gone up and slept with Dawson, but for the most part he is still in his crib. He tried the lower bunk a couple nights, but wasn't ready yet. I'm just following his lead for now. I don't want bedtime battles quite yet and I'm not in a hurry to switch him.

 The ceiling!

 Dawson loves the steps! We do too. Before this bed, he was falling asleep on the couch and we had to carry him to bed. Now he is comfortable climbing up himself and falling asleep. Maybe it's the excitement of the new bed, who knows! He has to have his star lights projected onto the ceiling, but that's a pretty simple request.

 The boys testing out the new bed.

 Dawson's Kindergarten concert was fun. I really couldn't see him once I sat down, he's on the bottom row in the middle and we sat in the back because Gabriel was making a big fuss about being in there.

 Gabriel actually ended up really enjoying the concert and sat perfectly! Go figure. He even clapped after each song.

 After the concert, the boys enjoyed playing together in Dawson's classroom.

 The end of April was my ultrasound. My mom came with to watch Gabriel and to be there. It was very fun. Baby was so stubborn, laying with legs tucked under, on the belly and everything. The lady moved me around, tried to wiggle baby, and finally after a lot of poking around she got a look at the gender. It's a GIRL!! I was completely surprised, I was really expecting it to be another boy. It's all I know and we just seem to make a lot of those. It took quite a while for that to sink in! I'm finally used to saying words like "she", but it was so weird at first!

 Our clinic recently got 3D added! I've never seen a 3D picture of my own kids. It was so neat seeing her move around and looking more like a baby. When I showed Dawson the "x-ray of mommy's tummy", he smiled. Then I told him it's a girl and he burst into giggles and said "mom, that's silly!"  I think it's going to take him a while to get used to the concept too. :)

I've been having fun buying some pink things!

 Dawson started horse therapy in April. He's really enjoying it. It was so cold that first week, it had been snowing still, so much that they had to cancel a session! The barn is so dusty from not being aired out, and his allergies (and mine!) from all the dust despite the meds was a bit much. We were both sneezing quite a bit. The next time they had him use a medical mask and that helped a ton!

 

 Me the end of April, around 20 weeks.

Gabriel loves watching me cook. He's not as much of a helper like Dawson always has been. Dawson is more hands on, but Gabriel hasn't felt comfortable doing things yet, he just loves to watch.

 Finally warming up a bit! Was nice to ditch the bulky winter coat.

 Gabriel got to come with us for the first time in May! He was so excited to see all the horses, but he also wanted to ride. He was gathering the sawdust footing and throwing it around.

 He was also offering up the sawdust to the horses in exchange for a ride. He was saying "please!!" in the cutest, most desperate voice. Poor kid, he gets an A for effort!

 Mother's Day with my boys. :)

 Watching horse therapy, outside this time!

 Riding with his mask. The outdoor arena finally dried up so we can use it! So much better.

 Me today at 26 weeks.

 

I've been doing ok for the most part, but I had a bad dream the other night about Tyler and it really threw me into a funk. Plus it's June, the month Tyler was originally diagnosed. We also just passed April, the month he was readmitted after his relapse! Too many bad months. Some day to not focus on them, but it's really impossible. So many dates are stamped into my head! There has also been a ton of 4th birthdays lately! I'm realizing I know way too many people who have a 4 year old! The talks of starting preschool and all the exciting things they've been doing is a bit too much some days. 

 

I've been trying to focus on happy things. My sister is due June 15th and I'm excited about that. Also with gathering things for this baby. It seems like the busier I get and the more I try to concentrate on other things, the more that gets stored up and it's harder when it finally all comes out. Thankfully those super horrible days don't come often, but when they do, I have no appetite, I feel physically sick and sore all over. I can't hardly get out of bed or off the couch and have no motivation at all. Gabriel always senses those moods and is either very fussy and needy, or he gets super sweet and cuddly. He was fussy in the morning, but got very cuddly in the afternoon. Thankfully by morning those internal clouds were lifting again.

 

I think things have been harder due to the extra hormones too. Extra moody, and the highs and lows are much more exaggerated some days. The weather has been rainy and gloomy too, which isn't helping. I need some sunshine! They say the 2nd year is harder than the first, and it's been true. It's been so long since we've seen him, I start forgetting things and wondering if someday all those memories will slip away. I have to look back at pictures and then it starts to come back again. Many I've talked to said they have the same and it's a common fear. Thank goodness for pictures, lots of them!

Three Birthdays

We've had 3 birthdays since my last post. Tyler's was February 26th. Dan's was March 4th and Gabriel's is March 28th. We had his family birthday party today.

For Tyler's birthday, we brought all the donations to Children's, along with a Ronald McDonald House food and supply drive and breakfast bags that I coordinated through my MOPS group. It was a very snowy day and the van didn't start when we went to leave, but Dan got the battery jumped and the van running in not too long. It went pretty well, the kids were good and the roads weren't awful. We also got to see Tyler's main oncology clinic nurse and she got to see Gabriel too.

Toys for the Oncology kids at Children's Hospital

 I was hoping to get this box almost full. It was a really big box. I was surprised to have overflowed it! People are very generous. :)

 100 breakfast bags for Ronald McDonald House

 Food/supply drive for Ronald McDonald House

 Gabriel does this each morning, he has his breakfast and watches cartoons or plays games on the ipad. I've suggested sitting on the couch or at the table, but he insists on sitting on the floor here!

 Dawson's new carseat. He really likes it, so comfy!

 Me at 12 weeks pregnant

 Dawson making Daddy's birthday cake. He was quite excited about it. The next day when Dan went to have a piece, he told Daddy he can't eat birthday cake because it's not his birthday anymore!

 The best part, frosting!

 Gabriel playing with horses, his favorite thing.

 Dawson decided to play with him, which doesn't happen too much.

 Gabriel's birthday cake. I decided to switch it up a bit and buy one. Was very yummy!

 He wanted to touch the candle. So pretty!

 So excited!

 Dawson had to help blow the candle out

 Cake and ice cream. He ate it all himself with no mess! Impressive.

 Time for presents! He loves his little goat

He also got Toy Story and Curious George 2. Also a shirt and pajama set.

 He has this present opening thing down good this year

 Wow, a big box full of zoo animals!

 Happy little boy

 After never messing with the bathroom, he decided to get some toilet paper and run around with it.So much fun being 2!

Tyler's Birthday and more

February is here, which brings us up to 15 months without Tyler. It's his birthday on the 26th. It's a harder birthday than his last. He was 2 1/2 and we knew 3 was coming, but this year he would've been 4, which seems like such a big number. He should be in preschool, talking and learning. Enjoying life. Now he's had 2 birthdays here and 2 in Heaven. In 7 months, Gabriel will be older than Tyler was. In a way, it has been a little easier these days, but in other ways it has been much harder. Memories fading, people stop talking about him, we wonder what he would've been doing, and what it would be like to still have 3 boys playing together. Overall, it just sucks. I try to keep in mind that he isn't dealing with cancer anymore, we will never have to deal with another relapse and worry about complications and side effects. He is free to be perfect and never suffer again. Too bad we can't say the same for ourselves.

We are doing what we did last year, collecting birthday gifts and donating them to Children's. If anyone would like to participate, you can drop something off, mail or paypal funds and I'll go shopping. I've been looking at the clearance racks, lots of good after Christmas deals on toys there still. My email is gpxchick@hotmail.com. Use that for paypal or email me for my address. I was impressed with the participation last year, I was able to bring several big boxes of toys and things down to Childrens. Of course everything was fresh and new then, I haven't gotten much of a response this year, other than a few dedicated friends. I'm hoping to have a decent amount to go down there with though.

I hadn't posted about this yet, I was waiting to take pictures and it was super dirty before, thanks to our lovely salty winter roads. It warmed up to 28 degrees the other day, so I got the salt off and it looks better now. We got this 2005 Dodge Magnum shortly after Christmas. Traded my car in and got a good deal on it. I'm liking it, lots of storage space in the back, big backseat for 3 carseats, and it has some nice gadgets my car didn't have either, like 6 disc CD player, sunroof, heated leather seats, and all those things that I wasn't looking for, but it happened to have. Works for me! I now have Gabriel rear facing behind the drivers seat and my long legs are not squished! It's way roomier than my old car, and it's nice when it's just Gabriel and I during the day, I have him on the same side and it's really convenient. We still have the van too, but it needs a lot of work done over the summer and we didn't want 2 iffy vehicles. Dan is driving the van for now. Hopefully it'll hang in there with its issues until it warms up.

 

Gabriel's hair was getting out of control. I have trimmed it a few times, but it really needed a full haircut. So I brought him in and finally let them transform my sweet baby into a little boy. *sniffle*

He sat pretty still during it all. She gave him some combs to keep him occupied, then a sucker at the end to get him the rest of the way through. I never had to hold him still or anything though! That's a first, I still have to hold Dawson still during several parts.

 

 Yep, that baby fluffy hair is gone! He looks so much older now. Sometimes I see him across the room and see Tyler, it's crazy how much they look alike with certain faces and smiles.

 I still have my baby blue eyes though, mom!

 

 The other day Gabriel brought me a little toy umbrella. I told him what it was, he wanted me to repeat it many times, but still looked puzzled as to what it was. So I got a real one out. He was very impressed!

 Haircut from the side. It was wispy over his ears, neck and everything. He seems to enjoy it being out of his face and everywhere.

 Dawson got his cut too. He did pretty well sitting still for them. The lady was amused that he kept saying Ow!

 

Dawson had a couple of rough weeks at school, but after a lot of talking and a bunch of laxitives, the problem was solved. He's in a much better mood now and has been making better choices. His Autism Therapy has started taking him out into the community to work on some new goals. Staying in sight of the adult he's with, walking nice, engaging in play with other kids, cooperative play with other kids, etc. He will go to the library, mall play area, the park's indoor playroom. He did great on his first day out and will be going twice a week starting this week.

 

I did some window shopping and some errands this weekend and he was great in the store! Much more mindful of listening and staying closer to me. It was a very nice improvement. Something I've been working on for a long time now, and therapy has been working on since this summer. It's exciting that he's able to try out his new skills while out and about as well.

 

I've been having a lot of morning sickness. Not nausea or vomiting, but the things I can eat and keep down are very few. So as long as I eat something that agrees with me, I'm fine. But I have to eat often, and the things that are ok to eat keep changing! I'm wishing this baby would make up its mind. I'm 9 weeks now, and looking forward to March so I can hopefully get my appetite back. I'm getting tired of the few foods I'm able to eat and it's been a long 5 weeks of this so far. About 3 more to go. I'm also getting anxious to know the gender so I can get to shopping and gathering what I need. I've really been itching to start, and I know it's super early, but I'm just impatient about this stuff. ;)  So I've been window shopping and dreaming, and that's been holding me off for the time. April 23rd is my ultrasound. My appointment this month I have to take the yucky glucose test. Because I have large babies, I have to take it twice each pregnancy instead of once. Even though it's never came back positive before. I'm really hoping for some energy back during 2nd trimester. It is gone and this place is suffering because of it. Thankfully Dan is awesome and has been helping out a lot, despite working 10 hour days all week, plus 8 on saturday. I feel bad. Hopefully I can make it up to him soon! There's still a lot to be done.

 

Gabriel has been learning new words and phrases, picking up on things quickly. He corrected my mom when we were over there. He showed her a toy animal and she said "duck", and he looked at her funny and said "goose!". She assumed he didn't know all the bird names yet! Sometimes I'll ask him for something and he'll go get it, which always surprises me. I never actually expect him to know it, but he's brought me a bowl, a ball, my drink, his sippy, a certain toy. Even if he has to go to the kitchen to get it. He has a bit of a studder with a couple words, but it's common at this age Ive heard and he doesn't do it with any other words, so I'm not concerned. Just something I hadn't seen before with my kids. There's always something new to learn, even after 2 special ed kids and a Child Development degree. They still manage to keep things interesting and surprise me with something new. As long as it's not something huge and traumatic, they can go ahead!