He still won't go to bed before he falls asleep, or is at least very close to sleep. I know it's Tyler related, but he never wants to talk about it.
It's been 11 months without Tyler now. Some things are better, some are worse. It's a rollercoaster. I was sick with a lung infection for 3 weeks, then a fever for 2 days. Dawson had an ear infection and a viral rash. Gabriel had an ear infection. Illness and similar things have really given Dawson a lot of anxiety. I got him from school and he was crying because he was sick. I told him we're just going home to rest and he was ok with that. Then the 102 fever hit and some raspy breathing, so I made him an appt and took him in. Upon hearing we were going to the Dr, he really started crying and freaking out. Turned out to be an ear infection and we just got some meds and went home. At any discomfort, he worries that he is sick. When he thinks sick, it's obvious he thinks of Tyler. He doesn't understand the different levels of sick. I have to explain repeatedly that he will get better quickly and it's not a bad type of sick. I hate that kids have to have such PTSD and anxiety. I'm hoping it won't get much worse than this.
Gabriel had his 18 month appointment yesterday. He is now 25 pounds, 8 ounces and 32 inches tall. His counts were finally good this time. His iron was within normal range and his cell size is much better too. Dr says to stop the iron and just take a vitamin with iron instead. I'm nervous to see how he'll do. Dawson is 43 pounds 8 ounces.
Fall makes me think of the Ronald McDonald House. Tyler's first fall was spent there, and his last fall we were there there too. He only had 1 at home, and he had so much fun in the leaves. In 2010 I said I missed RMH, there's just something about the fall and the warmth of all the people there that is so memorable. Tyler relapsed and I got another fall there! Not really what I actually wanted! Now it's fall again and I find myself missing it again. It's so weird, because the reason for being there is so much stress! Yet being inside on a cold day and having people to talk to, who can understand what we're going through because everyone there is suffering. Now we are still suffering, but are surrounded by nobody who knows what it's like.
Dawson and Tyler running through the leaves. October 2010.
I had a meeting with Dawson's team at school the other day. We all agreed that academics are not his weak spot! He already knows all the words required by the end of the year, they are working on counting to 10 and 20, while Dawson can count and recognize numbers into the thousands! She said she was quizzing him, and just kept going out of curiosity and he even knew odd numbers like 1,452 and said it correctly. They were asking if they can do an IQ test, mostly out of curiosity. I'm excited to see the results of that!
His social skills have really improved over the summer, thanks to some friends, having kids over a lot and working with the boys on sharing as well. The Autism Center did his yearly evaluation and dropped the Autism diagnosis! He is now back to PDD-NOS, which is Pervasive Developmental Disorder - not otherwise specified. In other words, he's still on the Autism spectrum, he just doesn't have "classic Autism". The PDD does mean he has social delays and other signs of Autism, he's just getting more high functioning and is able to learn lots! We were told that he would likely drop back into that category, but I was not expecting that to happen in just a year! He was given that diagnosis when he was 3, and then when the Autism experts evaluated, they gave him the full Autism diagnosis. It was great reading the reports and seeing all the progress. He did fall behind in 1 area, which is his emotional status, possible depression. I'm leaning more towards PTSD. He's seen more horrible things in his lifetime than most adults ever will, and worse, it was his brother, his best friend. Being that we started when he had no words and very limited understanding, it's hard to catch him up, to get him to look back and understand what all happened. Some days I wonder that myself! Most of the time he doesn't want to talk about it. He shuts down and I don't want to force him and make things worse. I just wish I knew what he was thinking, what all he understands.
I thought it would be amusing to share some of the goofy faces and pics that just didn't work so well.
Dawson was trying so hard to look happy and get Gabriel to hold still!
We backed up and went inside after that. :)