Sunday, November 20, 2011

Two Good Days

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I was very motivated and feeling good. My headache stayed away most of the day and at most was just a dull headache. I got Dawson's clothes in his dresser, 2 small suitcases, 3 bags and 2 boxes emptied. Also all the diaper boxes are on the shelf. So we now have all the suitcases emptied and I can walk through the boy's room without dodging boxes and tripping on things. I still have a lot to clean out in there, but at least I can find their clothes now without digging in suitcases and boxes.

Gabriel has been very active, continuing to try pulling up on things and inching around the room. He was sitting on the couch with Dawson and I and suddenly grabbed Dawson's cheerios and started eating them. One at a time, he happily munched on cheerios until his little pile that Dawson had spilled was gone. Gabriel was so excited for the new food. I guess he'll be having cereal now! He does have 2 teeth and does well with it, I'm just still in denial that he's old enough to be doing these things! Once again I have spent the little baby days in the hospital. Though I was with him everyday, there just isn't that quality and comfort that you get at home, so it almost feels like I've missed out.

Today I sold Gabriel's exersaucer on craigslist. He still has his jumperoo that he prefers, and it's so nice getting a big baby thing out of the living room. We have a long way to go as far as cleaning and getting our floor space back, but we're chipping away at it slowly.

We went to my parent's house today for my dad's birthday. It's still very hard going places with the kids, getting them out of the car and only having 2. I actually miss how crazy it was having all 3 out and about. I can actually go in someplace and not need the stroller. It's very weird. Dawson was excited that we were going to Grandma's house. He chanted "grandma's house" all the way out of town and several times on the highway too. It's nice seeing him get excited. It wasn't too bad, but it's tough being in places with so many memories. It seems so quiet without Tyler running around and driving shake n go cars up and down the hallway. I'm realizing lately that many of the things they played with was all Tyler's interest. Without him here, Dawson doesn't touch the cars at all. They used to fight over them. Dawson decided to play with a couple balls for most of the time we were there.

We have this white stuff on the ground now. I'm partially in denial and partially just grumpy about it. I can't believe it's winter already. I still remember being so excited when the snow melted and the ground started drying up a bit so the boys could play outside. Tyler wasn't supposed to be around mud, so we had to wait. Then after only a few times outside, Tyler broke his leg, then 2 days later we found out he relapsed and then we were admitted toward the end of April. We did get a few days in July and some time in August, but for the most part he was in the hospital from April to Nov. That's a huge chunk of the year. My favorite months of the year. I'm not a fan of winter. I could live at the hospital the entire winter and not mind at all, but that was the 2nd summer/fall that's been taken from us now and that's just really annoying. Winter is depressing. It gets dark around 4:30 now, I keep thinking it's bedtime when really it's not even supper time yet. The evenings were hard enough before we turned the clocks back and added an extra hour of suffering. Evenings are boring. They're supposed to be relaxing, but when I get bored and relax I often can't find anything to do, so then I start feeling lonely.

Tomorrow Dawson has his first day back at school! I'm excited for him. I think it'll be good for him to get back. He loves school and things to do with it. He has Leap Frog movie series and this week he's been watching Math to the Moon. Last night Dawson stayed awake until midnight. He was reciting numbers and math. "2, 4, 6, 8, 10"  Counting by 10s to 100. "10 minus 10 equals 0"  He's so smart and I'm glad he's so interested in things like that! Hopefully he'll like his new teacher as much as his last one.

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