I wonder when I'll stop counting the weeks and just count the months. I haven't been thinking about it quite as much, it's starting to feel a little more distant sometimes. Yet it doesn't seem like we've done much since we got back home. We did some cleaning and we've gone to some places, but it still feels like life is on hold for something. We're getting through each day, but we aren't really living each day like we did before. I read the book "Heaven is for Real". It really helped make me feel more at ease. I highly recommend the book for anyone who's lost a child, relative or had a miscarriage.
This week so far has been disappointing. I had planned on going to a couple Mom's Club playdates, but Gabriel had a cold. I need to get some groceries and run some errands too, but I was waiting for his cold to be gone. So I've felt very stuck in the house. We did go rollerskating Tuesday night and I went up the road to McDonalds to get a Redbox movie the other night too, but that's about it. Thankfully Gabriel seems to be getting much better. His slight runny nose seems to be more from teething now than his cold. He even had a very slight fever a couple days from it. I see at least 2 top teeth showing under the gums. Should come in soon. From the looks of it, he has at least 4 top teeth coming. His poor gums are so red and swollen.
Tomorrow will be a big day. I'm facing 2 big steps in the same day. The first is MOPS in the morning. Same church as Tyler's funeral. I haven't been there since. The second is in the evening and the more emotionally intimidating activity of the 2. HopeKids has an event at the Children's Museum. It's a foundation for families with childhood cancer and other life threatening illnesses. They have deals with different places and they shut down to the public so we can have fun, germ free. So our kids can have somewhat of a life while in treatment. So why are we going? I assumed we wouldn't be, but I got a card in the mail, and a message on facebook saying that we should still come. Once a HopeKids family, always a HopeKids family. So we are going. There's going to be lots of fun. Lots of adorable toddlers with bald heads. Lots of awesome moms that I've gotten to know and love. Who braved to come support and sit with us in our darkest days, facing the sight of what they all hope will never be their child. So that's why we go, to see them, and for Dawson and Gabriel to have some fun. After all they've been through, they definitely deserve to have some fun!
Dawson is having a better week. He's playing with toys again, but not the things Tyler played with. He has new toys that don't remind him of Tyler, and also things he's finding that he didn't remember he had, that we hadn't taken to RMH with us. He's having trouble going to sleep at night. I'm trying to switch around his bedtime routine a bit. They say no tv or computer at least an hour before bed, because it stimulates the brain and is too fast paced for bedtime. Well that was his bedtime thing, he'd play on PBSkids.org for awhile. So I decided to head to the playroom with the kids an hour before bed. Dawson painted, read some books and played with some other toys. I figured I was doing good, he was enjoying his change of routine which was a relief. I gave Gabriel a bath and came out to find Dawson on the computer.
Here's a video of Dawson "reading" 8 Silly Monkeys. It's one of his favorite books. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34_BS3B83_4
Dawson is really staying in the lines more now! Even 6 months ago he was just scribbling and painting wherever. I gave him a simple page and he really enjoyed it. He doesn't do so well with an actual coloring page picture, he'd rather paint shapes and simple pictures.
Gabriel achieved one of his goals. It was amusing because the day before I had mentioned that he made it into the kitchen, which is the furthest he's gone and next he'll probably want to go all the way down the hallway. Well look where he ventured before 10am the next morning! I guess those bags will have to be donated very soon! I was waiting because I had some stuff to add to it but I'm about done anyway.